Train your child the way to go

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Last Friday on my way to church, I met some children playing. They were 2 boys & 2 girls, between the ages of 4-6. As I got closer, one little boy started hitting the back of the other little boy. And there was the oldest amongst them (a girl), encouraging the boy to beat the girl more. I got angry and shouted at them to stop but this little boy was enjoying what he was doing with smiles radiating at the corners of his mouth. He appeared happy to have achieved that.

I immediately approached the eldest and asked why she watched on as he beat the girl.

 She exclaimed in our local dialect, Twi

“She doesn’t respect! Her mother told us to beat her anytime she misbehaves”

Wow!

Coming from this girl was surprising. To her, beating the little girl whenever she did something wrong was normal because the girl’s mother had told them to do so. Well I can’t blame her. The mother said so, so the children will instantly react when the little girl does something wrong.

What am I driving at in this blog?

From past generations, there have always been norms laid down by people in a society to check one’s behavior. Traditional rulers, elders, institutions, parents, etc.come up with rules to inform people how to feel or behave in a particular way. There are traditions from years ago, which still remain relevant.  For some people, adhering to such traditions is out of  respect while others out of fear because they might have heard stories about people who faced unpleasant situations because they disobeyed. Look at the trend, it moves from someone saying this and the other obeying because it was said to have worked.

How does it start?

Society today has people acting in a particular behavior because of what has been told, seen or practiced. We are told to behave in a certain way because tradition says so and society approves of that. Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not insinuating that all our traditions or rules are wrong. My focus here is parents and training their children. Realistically, most of us, if not all, grew up believing in what our parents told us or we saw them doing as either true or false.

 For these children, as long as an adult has told them they can beat her daughter when she misbehaves, they will gladly do so. To them, beating the child is a way of disciplining her so that she does not repeat it again. I asked them if they would be able to help the girl if anything happened to her and they stood still looking at me. Funny enough, the mother of the girl taught them how to discipline her daughter but didn’t teach them how to help her daughter if she should get hurt in the process.

If you are a parent reading this, I want you to know that what you tell your child, feeds his or her thoughts to influence what they become tomorrow. If you tell your children positive words, they will grow up and adhere to them. And if you tell them negative words, they will still grow up and adhere to them.

And if you desire to become a parent one day, please be mindful how you bring them up. What you become to them and how they perceive you is what you present to them. Every child sees in his or her parent, a hero, a role model, a teacher and a friend they would love to imitate when they grow up.

How are you bringing up your child?

Photocredit: pexels.com

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